For parents it should be a source of pride and joy, being able to say "mission accomplished" when their children leave home, if they are well educated and trained to follow the normal cycle of life, as long as it is not because of bad decisions, manipulations, violence, paternal pride, bad education received ...

Parents should not have the selfishness, if they have prepared their children well, of wanting them to stay at home, when by law of life, they have to abandon it. If they have also been insisting on their preparation, for when the time comes. It is a nonsense to get carried away by the egocentricity that it implies, to lose your control.

Parents should not allow themselves to be manipulated by their children, who have left home voluntarily or involuntarily. They must be very careful not to mortgage their future, subsidizing unfounded requests for money and childcare. Do not forget that the spouses have many years to live and the pace of life of those who have left the nest is very difficult to know or control.

It is very normal for the crying to begin, to get more money than agreed, with justified inventions or not, even rising to limits that parents cannot bear. If the request is accompanied by tears and manipulations, these tend to transcend the weakest spouse, the mother, to the spouse who thought he was the strongest. While the children live the high life, in their chosen new freedom, the spouses can be victims of a great emotional blackmail, before which they must take many precautions.

It is not an option, it is an obligation and a responsibility, which does not admit excuses or components, to educate and train the children, so that in due time, they can leave the family nest, because sooner or later it will arrive, unless that parents agree to support NEET children. That part of education also has to be total and integrated into daily life, not a half-measure education, staying with the easy and fleeing from the most rugged or difficult. Educating does not consist only in transmitting knowledge, but in teaching how to live, creating a climate of work, respect and family, religious and social formation.

The nest is the ultimate example of perfection, of nature's architecture, built with great intelligence and genetically inherited techniques. I wish we could say the same about what a home is, not in its material part, but in its moral part. If the parents have not built the nest well, it is hypocritical to cry, when the children abandon it prematurely or are not well educated. The same is that it was not well done and did not work, for what it had to serve. It is a great joy when the home has served, so that the children grow and develop with all their skills and that when it is their time, they leave free of ties to that nest, to which they will never return, nothing more than visiting.

The antithesis of the empty nest syndrome is the situation of NEET children, who neither study nor work, staying at the parents' house, so that they can support them, despite the fact that they are old enough to work or study on their own . If they find everything they need to live for free, provided in the family nest, it will be very difficult to find work or study. to both. That is a nest that is too full of people, at the same time that it is very empty of authority and of a sense of responsibility, towards the children and the parents themselves. It often happens that some parents feel indispensable and want to breastfeed their children throughout their adult lives. They are also usually perfectly manipulated, so that they do.

The empty nest syndrome is usually a trigger for feelings that have been hidden or frustrated during the marriage, since the reason for being of the spouses, put in their five senses, have been placed, in the education of the children.

When the son leaves the nest, having been the axis, through which everything circulated in the family, especially if the son had formed a closed team, with one of the spouses, ignoring the existence of the other, it is when he falls to the ground, the reason for being of that spouse, since they have to face returning to the other spouse, who for so many years had ignored their presence or simply endured as a marriage provider. In these cases, it is when the spouse makes more fuss about the empty nest syndrome, when what really happens is that they have run out of countless excuses to continue doing what they wanted and when they wanted.

The practical solutions to eliminate or not incur the empty nest syndrome, should be started, both spouses agreeing, facing the new circumstances, to get the most out of them. Starting to behave as at the beginning of your marriage, having special meals, trips to the movies, to restaurants, short vacations, fostering old or new friends, making cultural visits, etc. So they can shorten the distances they had, avoid distancing and have the satisfaction of getting back together again, starting a new lifestyle. Everything except "touching the ground" due to the new circumstances.

Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Excerpt from The Empty Nest Syndrome and Parental Responsibility

The empty nest syndrome and parental responsibility

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