School for parents: Understanding my teenager
We all have something of teenagers in us. Many when returning to this stage, remember their experiences with pain or joy.
I agree with all those who express that this is not an easy stage for parents and for those who live it; however, I believe that adolescence is not a problem as many parents and even some specialists say, who completely omitting that each adolescent goes through the path of his life, which will lead him to become a responsible and socialized adult; they judge or demand what they may not be in a position to give.
Adolescent crises require tolerance, this because in many cases, adolescent development causes tensions in people who had rushed steps in their own adolescence and who end up being affected by being surrounded by young people in a resplendent state of adolescence.
Let's talk about fathers, mothers and even teachers who, in their daily lives with adolescents, relive the pain of unresolved wounds that occurred in their own adolescence. Perhaps for this reason, many find it difficult to understand the behaviors and the way of seeing the adolescent's life. I have heard very harsh phrases, probably recorded with a lot of pain in people who address adolescents with disguised claims such as: "you are lazy", "you did not have to live what I experienced", "I did not have nothing you have ”,“ me at your age ”…. Could it be that they are responsible for what you experienced and for that you have to make them pay?
In order to understand your teenager, you first have to make peace with the teenager that you were. This involves reviewing your teen years. (Later I will make an interesting proposal)
Today's adolescent faces realities that perhaps you and I did not have to live, among some: the proliferation of venereal diseases, the massive and compulsive invitation to irresponsible sexuality, the overexposure to compulsive and consumer behaviors.
Probably, you and I were told when we were teenagers to study to get a good spouse and so that we could educate our future children well. As a man, perhaps as a teenager they put into his head the idea that he should prepare to take on a family. Not today's teenager. Invite them and her to consume, to seek power, to try experiences, to live life ... no matter how or at what cost. It would be naive to think that this does not happen to the boys and girls who attend church ...
I know many stories, including mine; of young people who from a very young age were raised in church environments, who went to Sunday school, who served in a church ministry and who at some point could not bear the pressure and decided to try….
Jesus himself asked the father in his prayer:
"I pray for them; I do not pray for the world, but for those you gave me, because they are yours… I am no longer in the world but they are in the world, and I am going to you. Holy Father, those you have given me, keep them in your name ... I do not pray that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from evil. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world… "(Saint John 17: 9-16)
We cannot raise them in the thought that they are exempt from temptations, rather we must teach them to strengthen themselves in their weaknesses and to overcome evil with good.
One of the factors that most affects the relationship of parents with their adolescent children is the little capacity for empathy that we adults can develop. It seems that when we go to the parenting degree we completely forget what it is like to experience and feel as a teenager. I have encountered great resistance from parents when working with adolescents because many feel threatened by their children. First of all, let your guard down and avoid personalizing all the adolescent's behaviors.
School for parents "Understanding your teenager" aims to provide basic guidance to parents and other people who work or have contact with adolescents.
We will be developing this interesting topic in several modules that are aimed at investigating different topics, such as: general notions, characterization of the adolescent, problems during adolescence and strategies that facilitate family and interpersonal relationships with adolescents. The publications will be announced on our page so that you can carefully follow all the deliveries. In the end, you can leave your comments and doubts, it will be important to be able to give us feedback.
In some of the modules, you will find previous activities that have the purpose of getting closer to your personal history and the topic. Try to do all the proposed activities.
Licda. Tatiana Carrillo Gamboa.