We are so different; we do not understand each other!

Many married couples complain of having married the wrong person. They feel so different that they think they are incompatible. However, when they met they were strongly attracted and for that reason they had a courtship, and decided to join their lives in marriage.

So because after a few years and in some cases months, they feel that they are too different, that they think differently about almost everything and that they cannot agree on almost anything.
The truth is that the normal thing is that they are very different, essentially in their temperament. That was exactly what attracted them; because in the area of temperaments, the same thing happens as the law of Physics, which says that opposite poles attract and like poles repel.

Normally marriages are made up of a choleric temperament and the other with a phlegmatic temperament, or one with a sanguine temperament and the other with a melancholic temperament. It is very rare to see married couples with the same or similar temperaments. They are not attracted!

Temperaments in marriage are normally very different, therefore they think very differently; but that does not make them incompatible, it makes them complementary.

God's design as creator of marriage is precisely that they should be complementary, that is, that the strengths of one help the weaknesses of the other and vice versa.

For example, a choleric temperament is very active and very capable, but needs a phlegmatic complement to help calm it; or a cheerful and disorderly sanguine temperament, you need a melancholic complement to help you organize and control your effusiveness. They complement each other!

It is very important that both spouses understand that it is normal for them to be different. They have to learn to see the convenience of being different and the need to take each other into account. That makes them a team. If that team takes advantage of the fact that they are complementary, they will probably be very successful in the development of their marriage and family.

Every temperament has flaws and weaknesses, and the only way to control those weaknesses is through spiritual growth. A more spiritual life gives us the ability to be more tolerant, softer in relationships, it gives us the ability to bear weaknesses and take advantage of strengths.

Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith and self-control.

Your marriage and your family is the most valuable treasure that God has given you. TAKE CARE OF HIM!

Luis and Hania Fernandez.
[email protected]
www.libresparaamar.org