Good friendships can be a great blessing, and vice versa!
Friendship is personal affection, pure and disinterested, shared with another person, which is born and strengthens with the treatment. Friendship is one of the most common interpersonal relationships for human beings.
Aristotle mentions three types of friendship: for interest, for pleasure and for the good; but only that which arises from good deserves to be called friendship.
For Cicero and Seneca, friendship implies harmony, goodwill and affection, "wanting and rejecting the same."
Modern friendship is distinguished by the high degree of autonomy attributed to a person, to the extent that he has the relationship in his hands both to initiate it and to break it. Beware of this kind of friendship, it is not really friendship! A true friend is the one who is there at all times, the one who lifts you up when you are down. It is in turmoil that friendship is put to the test! A friend is one who reaches out to us, and also confronts us when we do something wrong.
Proverbs 18:24 A man who has friends should be friendly, and friends are closer than a brother.
John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Friendships that are respectful, that edify, that share the same beliefs, are friendships to be preserved and valued. Every marriage needs pairs of friends to share and enjoy. However, we must clarify that the friends of a marriage have to be friends of both and be equally accepted by both. There can be no separate individual friends. Either they are friends of both, or neither!
If you have friendships against the will of your spouse, you are doing wrong and you are going to have problems sooner or later. Even if you have a lifelong friendship that is very valuable to you, if your spouse does not like it, you should leave that friendship immediately! Because your marriage and your family take priority.
If your spouse was wrong, the Lord will reveal it to him in due course, but you must defend and take care of the heart of your spouse, breaking all friendship that is not edifying for the family.
Relationships with friends, excellent as they are, have their limits. Every marriage must know the limits of friendship. Respect should be a protective fence for all friendship. Never disrespect your friends, or allow your friends to disrespect you or any member of your family.
Consideration is another indispensable element in friendship. Try not to exceed the trust that your friends have given you and do not allow your friends to exceed your trust limit. Always speak the truth to each other. Healthy friendships that last forever are this type of friendship.
Talk to your spouse and do a good analysis of all your friends and decide which ones you are going to cultivate and which you are going to withdraw permanently. Marriage must build its own friendships, developing healthy relationships with other families with whom they have something in common. And what is more important than sharing a FAITH in Christ Jesus. These are the friendships that must be nurtured and developed.
Your marriage and your family is the most valuable treasure that God has given you. TAKE CARE OF HIM!
Luis and Hannia Fernandez.