When a person complains a lot, it is a symptom that something is not right in their environment.

The behavior of human beings is a function of what we have and what we perceive in our mind. Complaint is the most common manifestation of a person's dissatisfaction and frustration. If a person complains too much it is probably because they have many areas of their life in discomfort. It does not necessarily mean that you are right, but is dissatisfied.

Differences between men and women is one of the reasons couples argue because we see things very differently. Temperament is an area that affects a lot. Melancholic and angry temperaments tend to complain more frequently than others.

The most frequent complaints from men are:
The most frequent complaints from women are:

Their husbands do not help them with the housework and with the care of the children.
Their husbands don't fix things around the house, but they are ready to help their friends.
Their husbands don't listen to them, they don't pay attention to them, or they don't talk enough to them.

They don't have enough sex. They always have a headache or are very tired.
Wives spend more than necessary. They are never satisfied. They always want more.
Wives want to impose their will so that we do things her way.

These and other complaints are almost always substantiated, but the important thing is that we value them and we make mature decisions to address those complaints and seek solutions.

It is quite difficult to patiently stand by a person who complains a lot. The person who complains a lot causes discomfort and the people around him tend to withdraw from him. No one wants to be around a negative person. A person who complains a lot creates tension and leads to arguments that often end in offenses far beyond the subject of the complaint and that deteriorate the relationship.

With all humility and meekness, bearing with patience one another in love, seeking to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Eph 4: 2-3

To deal with your spouse who complains a lot, the first thing is to try to be very tolerant, with an attitude of humility and patience to understand the reason for the complaint and work on whatever is necessary to satisfy the need and resolve the spouse's disagreement. You must pay close attention and value your feelings to detect the reason for your discomfort. Once the cause is detected, both of you should work on a plan to resolve the situation together and make appropriate decisions.

If you are the person who tends to complain a lot, you must learn to open your heart and express the feeling not as a complaint but as a feeling. That way there is a much higher probability of getting a satisfactory answer. For example: instead of saying: "You never pay attention to me,…." You could say: My love I want you to know that I feel sad and discouraged because I do not feel that you pay attention to me. This difference will produce a much better reaction.

Your marriage and your family is the most valuable treasure that God has given you. Take care of him!

   Luis and Hannia Fernandez
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